Getting sober is one thing. Learning how to live sober is another.
Here’s what nobody tells you: putting down the bottle doesn’t make the rest of it go away. The relationships, the old patterns, the resentments, the fears, the bills, the “what the hell am I doing with my life” questions are all still there. Some days they’re louder.
That’s the work I do. I meet one-on-one with people who are tired of just not drinking or using, and who are ready to deal with the life underneath it.
You don’t need to believe what I believe. You don’t need to recover the way I did. I’m not here to fix you or tell you how to live. I’m just a dude a little further down a similar road, and I’ll walk some of it with you.
Maybe you’re. . .
> Newly sober and wondering what you’re supposed to do now that your go-to way of coping is off the table.
> A few years in and still angry, restless, lonely, or just plain miserable, and quietly wondering if this is as good as it gets.
> Coming back after a slip. It happens. It’s information, not a verdict. If you’re driving from LA to New York and hit a pothole in St. Louis, you don’t drive back to California and start over. You pull over, check the damage, and keep going.
AA-curious but allergic to parts of it. The Steps make sense to you. The God talk, the dogma, or the church-basement culture doesn’t.
> In AA and wanting more. You’ve got a sponsor and a home group, and you want someone focused on helping you build the rest of your life.
If any of that sounds familiar, let’s talk.
Hi, I’m Josh
I’m a musician, an occasional carpenter, a professional dog companion, and a recovering alcoholic. I’m also a certified recovery coach. I bring the training, but mostly I bring years of doing this work on myself, and plenty of getting it wrong.
Here’s what I do: I listen. I ask good questions. I’ll push back when it’ll help. And I’ll help you take what you figure out and actually put it to use in your life.
I believe in what the 12 Steps are built on: honesty, taking a hard look at yourself, owning your stuff, making things right, connection, and showing up for other people. But I know the language doesn’t land for everybody. If “God” or “defects of character” makes you want to bolt, we’ll find words you can stand behind. What we won’t do is skip the work underneath them.
Recovery isn’t a life without discomfort. It’s developing the capacity to experience discomfort without abandoning yourself.
The Work
Most people move through three stages. Not always in a straight line.
1. Truth
This is where it starts: being honest about the drinking or using, and then about everything underneath it. The patterns, the relationships, the fears, the resentments, the stories you tell yourself. We’ll talk, take an honest inventory, and sort out what’s working, what isn’t, and what’s actually yours to carry. You can’t change what you won’t look at. Part of that is making peace with your past. Not pretending it didn’t happen, and not living in it either. It’s the vehicle that got you here.
2. Stay
Taking away the substance doesn’t take away the discomfort. Anger, fear, shame, loneliness, cravings: they all still show up. This is where you practice staying put instead of running, numbing, fixing, or controlling your way out of the feeling.
Sometimes discomfort means something needs to change. Sometimes it just means don’t run.
3. Build
Figuring things out only matters if it changes how you live. This is where we turn it into real life: relationships, boundaries, daily habits, community, service, creative work. Whatever keeps you steady.
The question we keep coming back to is what a life you don’t need to escape from would look like. Then we start building it.
WORK WITH ME
Your recovery is just that. Yours. It’s not my path, not your sponsor’s, not anybody else’s. We start wherever you are.
“If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it’s not your path.”
— Joseph Campbell
> > > 6 or 12 month 1:1 support
Recovery in Practice
Knowing what supports your recovery is one thing. Living it is another.
This is where we take your recovery plan out of your head and into your actual life, with someone in your corner the whole way.
Real life is what we work with: relationships, resentments, boundaries, cravings, work, family, purpose, community. The good days and the lousy ones. We keep moving through Truth, Stay, and Build, getting honest, staying put when it’s hard, and turning what you learn into how you live.
Your plan will change as you do. We’ll keep checking what’s working, what isn’t, and adjust.
The goal isn’t for you to need me forever. It’s for you to build a recovery you can carry on your own.
What else you get:
Ongoing Support
In addition to our regular one-on-one sessions, you’ll have:
Text + voice message support
For questions, check-ins, a little accountability, or something that just can’t wait until next time. (I’m not a crisis line. If you’re in danger, call 911. If you’re in crisis, call or text 988.)
Steady Social Circle
In person (Madison) and online (TBA). People doing their own recovery work, showing up for each other.
Retreats + gatherings
Preferred pricing when we go away for a few days to step out of regular life and go deeper.
Find your people
Steady Social Circle
Community Recovery Group in Madison
Looking for community, or just something different from a traditional meeting? The Steady Social Circle is a recovery group here in Madison. No speeches, no pressure. Just people doing their own recovery work and showing up for each other.
Everyone’s welcome, and it’s free. Donations help cover the room, but they’re never expected. Come as you are.
1st & 3rd Sundays, 7–8 pm
Wil-Mar Center, 953 Jenifer St., Madison
